Step Up and Kick Butt!
During a recent interview, Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren was asked why she did not run for president in 2016.
“I just didn’t think I had enough experience,” she replied.
What! Elizabeth Warren!?!
I was shocked. But why? Women are notorious for being cautious about going for the next challenging goal for fear we may not be fully qualified. Men, on the other hand, barely give qualifications a thought. Former President Barack Obama served in the Senate just over two years before announcing his run for president. At the time, if she had decided to run, Elizabeth Warren would have served over three years.
According to a recent Harvard Business Review,
men apply for a job when they meet only 60% of the qualifications;
women apply only if they meet 100% of them.
In my decades coaching leaders, I have worked with countless women who are otherwise successful but fail to achieve all their potential and/or desire would allow. What is holding them back? Yes, sexism, ageism, racism, misogyny are all factors. However, the greatest roadblock of all is the self-sabotage caused by lack of confidence.
When you think about a less than confident woman, you may imagine a shy, shrinking women who does not speak in meetings and walks around her office barely visible. You certainly do not think of Elizabeth Warren as someone who lacks confidence. I don’t either. Let’s be clear, there are degrees and levels of intensity. Nevertheless, lack of confidence in women is far more prevalent than is healthy.
Why do women hold back? After all, we are just as smart, experienced and in many cases, more educated than men. The answer is complicated and requires far more discussion that we can handle here. A more important question is if and why you hold back. Check out the following questions:
Do you:
- Fear that if you speak out you will sound stupid or self-aggrandizing?
- Feel like a fraud (one day they’ll figure out I’m not that good, deserving, etc.)?
- Lack a boldness your peers/leaders seem to possess?
- Worry you are not smart/capable/deserving enough to compete at the highest level of your company?
- Feel less than comfortable when asking for what you want?
- Work hard then watch others get promoted over you and paid more?
- Discount your accomplishments, e.g., refuse compliments, minimize your work?
If you answered yes to 3 or more of these questions, you likely are not experiencing as much success as you could.
What should you do? A first step is to deal with the issues above. Work with a coach, a good friend, a mentor or join our Kick-Butt Confidence course.
In addition, consider the following three steps to building confidence:
- Establish Supportive Relationships
- Engage in Healthy Self-Talk
- Develop a Structured Development Plan
Now identify specific actions you can take to move beyond your current comfort zone toward your full potential.
When athletes have confidence in their abilities, they play better and sometimes deliver extraordinary performances. It is well understood that talent, skill and a winning attitude are important but confidence can provide the winning edge. In a highly competitive workplace, confidence is your winning edge, your competitive advantage.
Recently, I gave an online training about women and confidence.
If you struggle in this area and want to grow your confidence, watch this video. It’s free!
Simply submit your email address, watch the webinar, and go kick butt!
